Thoughts

Judge not… walk a mile

I remember a time…

I remember a time when I used to have an opinion on parents and their inability to rear their children. I would see kids in public making a scene and the parents allowing, ignoring or poorly managing it. I just thought, how is it that they don’t have full control of their kids. They must be doing something wrong. As a young girl, I wanted to fill my house with the laughter of children. My mother made it all look easy. My siblings and I were, what I thought,  typical kids but I think we had a more calm house as opposed to the typical household featuring five kids. My mother kept us in line at all times and we respected her authority so we did what we were told, for the most part, every day.

I have decided to stop at two children. It can be overwhelming dealing with the very hyper and loudness of my household. Keeping a house clean with two children is nearly impossible! When I look back, I appreciate my mother’s tough authority. She was able to manage the five of us and keep a clean house. Now when I look at other parents and their unruly children, I smile and feel a connection. I know understand that it’s not their parenting; It’s kids being kids and parents doing what they can to keep sane.

I remember a time…

I remember a time when I would have an opinion on parents co-sleeping with their kids. I told myself: Self, you will never allow your kids to sleep with you. With my first, after her first few weeks, she slept in her own room and own bed. but with my second, from the moment he was born, he needed the closeness. He was hours old and needed me at all times. To this day, he wants to sleep with me, no matter that we’ve had the same bedtime routine since birth. I rocked my daughter to sleep and I was a co-sleeper with my son. Both actions completed so that I could keep my sanity and get rest. Both situations work for me and that is what I say when I hear of parents co-sleeping with their children.

I remember a time…

I remember a time when I thought schedules were best for children. My definition of a schedule was a strict regiment so that the kids knew what to expect. I thought that not knowing what came next or a kid without a set bed time was chaos. My daughter did very well with strict schedules. That method works great for her. My son on the other hand doesn’t do well with strict schedules so we do a looser version of my daily schedule and every day is adventure with trying to get the basic needs fulfilled. I now know that a non-schedule is a schedule. No matter what, whatever fits your family’s need, becomes a routine.

Every child is different and unless you have that difficult child or that child who requires less sleep, etc., you have no idea what goes into rearing that specific child. My mother did well with five different personality and I will probably never understand how she did it but after having children, I now understand that you have to rear your child according to the child’s needs. There is no set rule book because kids don’t come with instructions.

So I conclude that parenting can be about doing whatever you need to in order to remain sane at times when bordering insanity.

 

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