I have always felt that I was being judged or scrutinized because I was a person of little to no words. Some people thought I believed myself to be above them. I have always felt too awkward during social situations. I seriously would have word vomit whenever someone engaged me in conversation. I would always walk away chastising myself for being so strange and not more verbally adept.
But when I try to assess the good in myself, I see that my silence and awkwardness is a positive and that I need to treat myself better when it comes to my social awkwardness.
You can see so much by being silent.
There are many times when I stand in a crowd and try to think of great conversation starters. When it comes to opening my mouth, nothing but babble comes out. So what happens is I become part of the background. I am not noticed and the pressure is lifted. In this, I am gifted the opportunity to see people for who they are and who they pretend to be. I see people who are genuine and people who are manipulating situations to get what they want.
You can learn so much by being vigilant and observant.
Taking my silence further, I realize that it helps me to stay alert and observant. I observe all that is around me and calculate my moves in advance. This is partially an effect of my military days but still affects me today. Keeping with the positive aspect of my quirks, I have observed an increase in my ability to be analytical for my job and be helpful by perceiving needs and preparing ahead of time.
You can be better by being silent.
Just last week I realized that my constant observing has been helping me treat people with consideration and kindness. I have been giving people the benefit of the doubt and being kind regardless of how they treat me or how they look at me. I have given myself permission to smile and nod and be happy. My silence gives me a moment to calm mind and appreciate the good in every situation.
We should all practice the art of silence.