Ever since I could remember, I have always wanted to fit in. I would come home from school and wonder why I was different and could not make friends as easily as the other kids at school. I was picked on and ignored for most of my life. Now, I’m just ignored and most times, it doesn’t bother one bit.
Growing up, I was made to feel like I was no one’s idea of a friend; a person who had no qualities worth pursuing. How do you think that a person, specifically a child, would feel when they look at friend groupings throughout the school to find that not one group wanted them as a member? There were a few kids who took pity and interacted with me but I was never invited to join their friend group, which made me feel worse.
I saw a post today that said “To fit in, one must first be a follower.” Something in my mind clicked and made me feel great about not fitting in. I don’t necessarily think that being a follower is all bad nor do I feel that fitting in negative. I think all great leaders followed someone at some point in their lives and there is no one way to fit in. The type of follower I was referring to is the social follower. Fitting in and popularity in the social scene is about societal norms and keeping up with the here and now. I never fit in because I have always been on the opposite side of it. I was never interested in what was popular, just because it was popular and that alone made me different. I think I was misunderstood by most and not easily molded.
My attempts at fitting in can be summed up in a few sentences: Whenever I did things that everyone around me was doing, I was welcomed with open arms. The moment I strayed away from others and their ideas of normal, I guess I became too complicated to deal with or that my “abnormalities” would rub off on them.
It’s funny to think about people not wanting my qualities to rub off on them. My response to that is that they should be lucky if some of my qualities or “abnormalities” rubbed off on them. I am normal in all sense of the word. What makes me stand out and off to the side is the fact that I prefer to do and say thing that have meaning to me and could positively impact someone or something in the world.
I love me and I will continue to be me, leading my future, albeit alone.
My question for you:
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Look Within 