Stand Out.

I was looking for a quote to express the way I feel about being and loving myself. It took a long time for me to truly feel love for myself because of how the outer world treated me in my youth and I am still learning the art of truly loving every piece of me.

I found a quote and thought it was somewhat fitting especially who it came from.

They laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at them because they’re all the same.

Kurk Cobain

Now, I don’t laugh literally but I contemplate on my childhood and what made me so wrong that I was laughed at and excluded. Some of what I find is that the energy I have is not used for the same things as other people. I go after things that make me feel good or fulfills a dream of mine.

I am not discounting what others do, I am responding to the question that I am constantly asked: How do you do it all? I don’t do it all. I put energy into the things I love and other aspects of me fall to the wayside. You will rarely see me look “put together.” I do not use time to perfect my hair, put on make-up or get my nails done. I wear comfortable clothes and shoes and most times I make attempts at matching (although I wear safe colors so I match most days).

Some people may look at that as a lack of self-care but I see it as self-care because for me, those things cause unnecessary stress. Who am I really doing those things for anyway? I see no reason for wearing make-up to work. I am there to do my job… at a desk… with my team and no one else.

I am constantly being approached with things like: You would look cuter with your hair like this; Omg, you should wear make-up; why don’t you get eye surgery so that you don’t have to wear glasses? you look so good without them. I know they are not trying to hurt my feelings but they make my self-esteem waver. No one likes to feel like they are not good enough and the way society is set up, there are many of us feeling like we are living outside of the norm.

The norm is difference. It is impossible for us all to be the same. I do everything that I do because I cut out the things that society may think is important but I do not. I follow my own set of norms. I went into the Army right after high school and some thought that was a bad move but I did my part for my country AND received a bachelors and graduate degree. I had my first child before I was married and my fellow Christians looked down on me but here I am with two children and married seven years to their father. This is my norm and my path that is for me.

Traditions and society may want us all to follow the same path but that will only lead to us unhappiness and down a road further away from our paths. We need to all do what is right for us and not what others want for our lives. Be you. Be different. Stand Out.