In this life, there are socially constructed rules we must follow, and others that keep us in a cage. As we enter into a new year, I can’t help but reflect on 2025 and what I’ve learned and applied to my life.
I have always made it a point to be my most authentic self, but over the past year, I have come to understand what that means. I find it challenging to follow social standards when they run counter to who I am. I have been learning new ways to choose myself without feeling guilty about not considering others in my decision. A better way to put it: I am learning not to be a people-pleaser.
For so many years, I have put the needs and wants of others before my own, and it has caused so much pain in my life. I felt incomplete, drained, and puppet-like. I would say yes to things that I would later regret. I was told that I needed to accept people in my life, even if they don’t make me feel safe. I was told how to act and how not to act. It affected my mental health, and that’s how I knew things needed to change.
Every day, I practice ways to reclaim myself. I set an intention for my day. I align the day’s activities with that intention. I take a moment to consider requests before I respond, so I can ensure what’s being asked aligns with my intentions and the direction I’m heading in life. I evaluate the relationships I have and make sure I am giving energy to those who are prospering, communicate improvements to those who are not, and let go of those who no longer serve a purpose.
My practices are not easy. It’s challenging to let go of people and things that once held value when their seasons are up. But I can genuinely say that I have never felt more peaceful and happy in my life. I burned to ashes as a phoenix. This was maddening, but the gift in the process was that the cage I was in also burned. So now I rise from the ashes and reclaim who I was always meant to be.
Your path is yours and will not look like mine. The point is to be you and live this life as the person you want to be, not the person that others choose for you.
Happy New Year! I hope you find practices that help you reclaim yourself. Be you, always.
Look Within 