I have been in a place of trauma, drama, and grief and it has kept me from my creative outlets. But I have been learning many lessons that will propel me toward the next stages of my life.
One of those lessons came from my interactions with others. I’ve always held on to the belief that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Sometimes we know exactly why a person is with us and other times, we learn later and make adjustments with new knowledge.
When dealing with other-selves, it’s important not to get attached to specific outcomes and desires we have of that other person. When we do that, we set ourselves up for disappointment. I am learning to let people show me who they are and act accordingly.
People act as mirrors to each other. Think about when you look in a mirror. Sometimes you may criticize the image reflecting back and other times you may admire and point out the things you love about the reflection. We do that with people as well. If we don’t like what they are doing, we can show disgust but if we agree with their actions, we praise them and allow them into our inner circle.
My lesson is to meet people with grace. To allow them to be themselves, no matter how I feel about their actions or inactions. To honor them as an individual with perceptions that may not align with my own. But the second part of the lesson is to put them where they belong and control their proximity to my life.
You can love someone but keep them at a distance. Not everyone is going to deserve a place at your table or be privy to the inner workings of your life. You can treat people with grace yet have boundaries to ensure that you are not compromising your health, peace, or emotional wellbeing.
This is your life. You choose to live it for yourself. You choose when to compromise or put yourself second. Society has a habit of making up rules about how to conduct ourselves around others. We have been made to think that we have to give up parts of ourselves, unwillingly, for the happiness of others. Happiness comes from within. If you are reliant on external stimuli for happiness, you may never find it.
The next time you feel pressured to give up or give in unwillingly, meet them with grace but put them in their place.