Equanimity, Freedom, Thoughts

Is Your Life Overdue?

I just finished reading The Overdue Life of Amy Byler by Kelly Harms. I don’t know if I have ever connected to a story as much as I have to this one.

In the story, Amy’s husband left her and their two kids for three years and returned to make amends, whereas my husband mostly avoided me through the pandemic before telling me that we should go our separate ways.

It wasn’t all his fault. Just like Amy, I realized that I played a part in ending my marriage. The pandemic was a difficult time. I had lost my mom months before the lockdown so I spent a lot of time grieving and trying to keep up with my responsibilities as a mom and working professional. I became fearful of getting sick and wanted to stay home more than my husband did. I felt like life was out of control so my need to control my world became excessive. I cared for the emotional needs of my kids but I did not have the capacity to take on another adult’s emotions and I was ill-equipped to fix our communication problems.

Amy leaves her husband with the kids while she attends a conference. So used to be a single mom, she was not prepared for time on her own. With the help of her friends, she makes the best of her time and learns that although she played a part in not being totally available for her husband, there was nothing she could have done to repair what was broken inside of him.

I felt every piece of what Amy discovered about her doomed relationship. If it hadn’t broken when he left, it would have happened eventually. Sometimes we fall into scenarios where we make sacrifices when we should be setting up boundaries and better communication paths. Sometimes we run away from our emotions and we become martyrs of our own making.

When we don’t address our inner selves and all circumstances in our present, we can potentially place our lives on pause. We can get stuck in default, regret, avoidance, or stagnation, preventing us from growing into the people we are supposed to be. Allowing ourselves moments of peace and reflection can do wonders for helping us live the life we choose.

Ask yourself today, is my life overdue? Am I avoiding a change or decision that is keeping me stuck in place?

For Amy and I, we learned that even if you love someone and want them in your life, you sometimes have to make hard decisions that will press play on your life and that is okay.

Don’t let your life be overdue. Reflect and create the life you want to live.

1 thought on “Is Your Life Overdue?”

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