Be Kind, Always.

My life has been turned upside down, and I have been doing my best to turn it right side up again. Since then, I have been sitting on my thoughts because they are burdensome emotions. Last year, Ellen’s deejay, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, committed suicide. For the first time, I could genuinely say I understand why someone might commit suicide. No, I am not suicidal. But what I experienced last year and how I was treated by others brought me to understand the hopelessness and despair one might feel when suicide is decided as the only option out of the pain.

So many of us are conditioned to survive without the help of others. Not because we want to prove to ourselves or the world that we can do it but simply because the world turns its back on suffering and treats it as shameful. Whenever suicide comes up, people say, “Oh, it’s a selfish act.” No, suicide happens because people feel so alone in their pain and have been ignored by the people around them. They have reached out for help, tried many ways to stop the pain, and the pain continues without end. They lose value in living because feeling so much suffering without compassion is far worse than death.

I was at the point of giving up. I felt alone because the people around me told me that what I was experiencing could quickly be resolved by following easy steps. I felt trapped. Nothing was easy. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. My brain was mush, and I still had responsibilities on my plate. It was as if I were drowning in the ocean, and the people on a nearby boat shouted at me: ‘All you need is a boat.’ ‘Stop drowning, just swim.’ ‘You don’t have to drown. It’s a choice.’ No one was jumping off the boat to come to rescue me. No one drove a boat closer to me to help. No one threw me a life raft. No one noticed my fatigue, stress, and panic as I tried to stay above the water. They all saw the shark circling me and told themselves they couldn’t get in between the shark and me because it was my burden.

I know I can’t expect someone to come to save me whenever I find myself in emotionally stressful events but compassion and empathy are lacking. So many people quickly say how great you have it and that you shouldn’t be sad or suffering, but material items can never penetrate the soul like the soul of another.

This is a childhood wound for me. So many times, I have been in situations where I was forced to survive without empathy or compassion. I learned to just roll with it, but not everyone can roll with the punches, so they choose a different route away from the pain.

We’re not asking to be saved. We ask the people in our lives to keep each other accountable for expressing genuine compassion and empathy. The world lacks accountability and sits too comfortably in elective blindness yet expects compassion and empathy from others.

Some of the most joyful people end their time on Earth. It saddens me. For the sake of our children, be kind and consciously treat others with compassion and empathy.