Forgiveness… is more than saying sorry…
Forgiveness is about giving yourself peace and letting go of past hurts. I attended a church service where the message was about forgiveness. The point of this message was to say when you don’t forgive someone who has wronged you, you stand in the way of God taking care of that person for you. You are literally standing in the way of Karma. I sat in my seat and just thought about the people in my life and what kind of Karma I’m preventing from hitting other people.
For me, I feel like forgiveness is an easier task. I can usually put myself in someone else’s shoes and see things in a different way that does not make them a monster. My problem (which is probably a problem for many), is that I have the hardest time forgetting forever. I’m not sure if that means that I don’t really forgive a person but I feel like me not forgetting in my mind’s way of protecting me from getting hurt again. If I am faced with a similar situation, my brain automatically prevents me from going down that road, and therefore saving me for having more heartache.
You know the saying, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” This is how I live my life. I will forgive someone once but as soon as some starts getting ugly again, I stop them dead in their tracks and prevent the hurt.
The part of the forgiveness process that many people miss is the most important part of being on the one who needs to be forgiven — corrective action. If a person is wronged, they are expected to forgive the person who wronged them and not hold that negative feelings towards that person. But there is rarely any talk concerning the expectations of the person who was in the wrong. Apologizing is one thing but the real apology is when actions change. I cannot in all seriousness continue to forgive a person who continues to repeat wrong actions… actions speak louder than words.
For me, trust can only be built from action. I may forgive a person but I will not allow them to harm me again. Today, I am choosing to forgive those who have wronged me so that I have peace and they can learn the lesson they are meant to learn.